bye bye udaipur

we completed our documentary after four weeks of interviewing, shooting, visiting the village (Malaaria), translating, and hours of editing. the end product : an 8 minute promotional documentary for the NGO we've been "working" with (Seva Mandir). At our first initial meeting with the senior staff members we realized that we thought we were here to do one thing (cover their fellowship program in a documentary as a way of promoting the idea of community leadership and sustainable development), and at the end of the meeting it was very clear that that was not the case at all. The members of the staff went on explaining how they want us to film the Jati Panchyat and the reforms it's made in the rural villages. Well, let me be more clear. They initially told us that we need to thoroughly cover what the Jati Panchyat is in depth, cover the intricate social complexities of what that patriarchial hierarchy means in the village, cover programs that Seva Mandir has implemented for women in Malaaria, cover the fellowship program, why it started how it functions, and the biographies of the fellows. in depth.

in the first 5 minutes of the film.

we were up front about how absurd that idea was and walked away from the meeting feeling like we have a more practical and clearer idea of what to do, and we were very excited to do it. all three village trips to Malaaria have been the most enriching experience in India so far. That afternoon sitting with Veni Bai, and Rodi Bai, listening to their stories, their struggles, their desires was eye opening and inspiring. they were so appreciative for our interest and our curiosity and welcomed us with such warmth. the language barrier kept us from understanding what the heck was coming out of our mouths, but the sentiments were the same.

we showed our final product (the co-editors of the film slaved over piecing the thing together, and cutting down hours of footage to what Seva Mandir wanted, a less than 10 minute video, for hours) to our volunteer coordinator, the supposed head person for this entire project, the day before yesterday. she was pleased. in fact, she used the word "excellent". her only feedback was "you repeat a couple of pictures, but the rest is fine"

great.

the next day, she called a staff meeting to have the rest of the staff members look at the video. they watched.

and then it was silent for a good 2 minutes before one senior panelist just started bashing the entire thing, and the entirety of the film. for the next 30 minutes, in hindi, they started telling us about how the film lacks focus, they were irritated that it was promotional for seva mandir, they didnt understand why we focused on women's issues, and why we didnt go further in depth with the fellowship. i think they forgot that there was someone on this side of the table who understood every syllable of what was being said. our volunteer coordinator usually translated for the rest of the group what ever is exchanged in hindi, and this time she didnt. it might have taken them by surprise when my response to their complaints or on point to what they had said in hindi. the overall response was sour, and we all were made to feel as if our time, efforts, money, passions, interest, curiousity, all of that was worth nothing.

i have no qualms about professional confrontation, and their reaction was so insulting that we told them everything that we had been asked to do, and how we had received absolutely no direction from any seva mandir staff. at all or in any shape or form.
resources in terms of doing research about this social issues were always limited, as in their library has tons of articles...locked away with missing and out of order keys. we were told that we have room for creativity and that we could frame the subject matter however we wanted. and then we were bashed for doing just that. they claimed that we had no objective and when i asked them what they had in mind for us, they could not answer the question.

if the knowledge of the staff members, people who have been involved with Seva Mandir for decades, and the skills of the students were combined and integrated professionally the experience would have been much more enriching for both parties. personally for me, the village experience, talking to those women and seeing their work, and their leadership far surpasses any of the internal structural weaknesses that Seva Mandir has. Our host parents had told us from the very beginning that all interns, especially from abroad who work with Seva Mandir leave with the same level of frustration. They have loads of brochures, pamphlets, articles and scholarly writing on how much they are doing and how much they are accomplishing. Though that gets them grants and international attention, this experience of being completely devalued for my time and something that I care about has left a very bitter taste in my mouth and I would never recommend anyone to work with them.

I don't regret any of my time here and in fact it has been extremely valuable and I have learned a lot : about the city, about the people and about the organization in terms of what they do well and what they don't. This experience, though they made it seem as if it was futile, was completely worth it.

Our time in Udaipur is up, and the serenity of the city grew on me a lot. Our group of 6 has dwindled down to 3. The 3 of us will leave Udaipur tomorrow night to go to Ahmedabad for a day and then spend about 4 days in Mumbai. Then the other 2 will leave and I"ll be in India for a couple of weeks more. Not sure where I'll be or what I"ll be doing. I'm hoping, InshAllah, I can survive :)